always. i try to scream those words that were only meant to come out as whispers. i hold close the things i want to drive away. and caught in the calm before the storm. in love and war. its all the same. through these clenched teeth i find myself pushing back the flood. and once again i have to ask if i've got what it takes to hold this together. because it always seems like just one more inch before it all gives way and i am devoured. as the whole world unravels. everything comes undone in one breath. in a single thought. and with that look on your face you turn away from me so may you never hear a thousand beautiful things i would have said to you like you are the sun in my dark skies and the light that shines in my eyes shines for you. my heart beats in time with yours until it beats no more. i hold out my empty hands to the blue sky as i realize i never loved it until it was gone. and i never love anyone until they are walking away. but maybe some day you will look back over your cold shoulder and understand those harsh words spit in anger that just could not be overcome have turned into water underneath the burned out bridge. because i know when i stand alone there is nothing i woulnd't give to bring it all back for one more day. the smiles. the laughter. the tears. the heartbreak. and the comfort you will only find in the moments after the rain has passed.